While Hubs went on his bike ride, Schäfer and I had a Valentine’s Field Trip with three other Mommies. It just seemed so fun to take our kids out for breakfast and then go to the store and buy them a little treat.
Even though Schäfer was up since 7, it was a miracle to get him out of the house by 8:30am in time to catch the bus. For some reason, he decided that he wasn’t too interested in shoes. I said, “Do you want to go to the store and buy a snack?” This helped him gain interest in wearing shoes.
Once we got to the bus stop, we learned that Yu Jie Jie was still asleep! She was up until 11pm the night before so she wouldn’t make an appearance until 9am. We decided to delay our outing until she woke up. After all, it was her Mom who organized our Valentines Day Field Trip.
(Note: This is a normal bedtime for a Chinese toddler.)
So, finally at 9:50am we hopped on the free bus to the WuShang Grocery Store. Then, we lugged our babies and bags across the street to the littlest noodle shop for some down home cookin’ including: rice congee, fried dumplings, steamed buns and dry-fried spicy noodles.
Hitting the local dive.
Yum! Greasy dumplings and noodles!
Then, we went to the grocery store.
And that’s where it all fell apart.
First, we had to walk through the electronics section to get to the food section. Now this is fine so long as you are not 2 and every button is of interest.
I had to pick Schäfer up screaming to get him to the 2nd floor where the food was. While the other Mom’s shopped in the vegetable section, I let Schäfer look at the fish, turtles and frogs available in the live tanks, but he couldn’t just look, he had to put his hand in the water. After several reprimands, there was a hand pop. (Yes, in public.)
Then, he put his hand right back in the fish water.
So, I gently escorted him (read: flailing in my arms) to a little nook in the side of the store so we could “have a moment” of course two store workers followed us and watched the foreign woman reprimand her child.
As he cried, I carried him around the store hoping to find his friends. Surely, they would be the best diversion. Thankfully, a free sample lady had a cracker and that seemed to do the trick.
OK, so things went a little crazy, but this is Valentine’s Day and we are on a field trip for goodness sakes! Let’s go tackle our shopping list and buy a special treat. First item: raisins.
I grabbed the raisins and went on to find the cookie aisle, but Schäfer wanted the raisins opened…NOW. I said, “No, we’ll open them after we pay for them.”
This led to another flailing, crying in the aisle, throwing the raisins episode at which point I grabbed my son – handed the raisins to a clerk (tried not to feel guilty for not putting them back on the proper shelf in the proper aisle) and left the store.
What in the world? Today was suppose to be fun.
I could not get Schäfer to stop screaming. Oh we were quite the sight. Cute foreign baby screaming. People coming up to me offering advice: “He’s hungry. He’s tired. He’s cold. He doesn’t have enough clothing on. Oh, he’s naughty.”
Finally, I called Hubs and let him talk to Schäfer on the phone. After two phone calls, this worked. Then, I went to my old trick: The Ergo.
I put Schäfer close to me. Gave him is Raffe. Gave him is Mudgy Moose and listen to his wails become murmurs.
I called the other Mom’s who were still delightfully shopping in the grocery section with their perfectly poised kids (or at least it seemed that way) and said that we’d be going home.
Yu had a great time shopping!
I tried to wait on the free bus, but then decided to splurge $1 for a taxi ride home. It’s Valentines Day after all.
And bless that taxi driver’s heart. Schäfer screamed the entire way home. She also concluded that “he was tired, hungry, and very naughty.”
Once home, the screaming did not stop. Finally, I calmed him down enough to answer my questions:
Do you want some juice? No.
Do you want to eat? No.
Do you want to sleep? No.
What do you want? I want to snuggle.
My heart melts away.
Do you want Raffe? Yes.
Do you want to get Raffe or do you want me to get Raffe? Mommy gets Raffe.
Do you want to sing? No. I read books.
That’s what we did in the silence of our living room for 15 minutes.
And then everything was OK.
He ate lunch. He took a nap.
But then he woke up from his nap crying. He cried on his bed for another 45 minutes.
Once he settled down, we agreed to go to the market and buy vegetables. Thankfully, Schäfer wanted to ride in his stroller which makes shopping easy.
While out, we saw several reminders of Valentines Day.
The chocolate section in a local shop.
Roses for sale at the market – about 50 cents per rose.
That night, we made chicken pot pie at home. Hubs and Schäfer wrestled on the floor.
We baked our first batch of Homemade Oreo’s. We can totally buy Oreo’s here, but things just taste better when they’re made from scratch.
I took some Theraflu.
And then the day was over.
Wow.
Lesson learned: I seriously don’t think I’m going to take Schäfer to a grocery store for quite some time. It’s just too stimulating. Any thoughts?
What do I know about 2 year olds? Not much. But it sure sounds like poor little Schafer is having some serious culture shock. I’m proud of you, Sandra.
Girl, it is totally the change in routine and that is how toddlers cope with change!! WE have been having the same struggle with Joshua as he had the surgery and he and I have been hermited in the house for two weeks. It is all about routine for the little guys, I really believe that. Yes, we have to expose them to change so that the can deal with it and you did a great job sticking to your guns!! But we as moms gotta find the balance, which I find difficult at times!! With all of the adjustments Mr. S has made these past months, I would say, golly gee, he is not doing too badly!! Snuggling, raffe and books are so familiar and wonderful. We have resorted to the same things. Even at four, J asks to be held a lot these past few weeks and so I hold and snuggle while I can. There will come the day when that won’t be the same!! I will remember you and that yucky bug you are fighting too! That shonuff does not help matters does it? Bless you my friend!
Thanks Marianne for your encouragement. It’s so good to know that he’s just being normal – all things considered.
Sandra Dear, I have personally carried screaming children out of grocery stores more than I can remember and I’ve come to this conclusion – We are American parents living in Asia. Our parenting styles are just very different. Whereas they would simply leave their children at home with helpers or grandmas, we take them out. I even got shushed in Toys R Us! Seriously! You’re doing a FANTASTIC job as a mom. You are teaching him things now that will be with him the rest of his life – unconditional love, appropriate expression of emotions, boundaries and self-control under God-given authority. Hang in there …. When he’s a lot older and he’s the best behaved in his group of friends, you will be grateful!
Thanks for your encouraging words! They really mean a lot to me!
Don’t be discouraged. I think a big part of his struggles might just be his age…I know Rhett went through that, and Alexee is starting to do it, too. Maybe something to do with realizing that independence is an option, but not necessarily the given for them at this point??? I don’t know, but this whole post seemed totally normal to me. I could see all that unfolding right here in my LR Kroger store with my kids (or Alexee at least…Rhett is to the point that he can be reasoned with to some degree…most of the time.) I think two is a difficult age just because they are so smart and aware of their surroundings, yet not able to do everything for themselves that they’d like to do??? That’s just my thoughts…I’m certainly not a child counselor or anything.
(Just file it away with the other advice, “too cold”, “too naughty”, etc.!) 
They change so much between age 2 and 3…it’s really amazing, and much easier the closer they get to age 3 in my opinion. Which is why I’m a little nervous about Crosby arriving so close to Alexee turning 2!? Rhett was about to turn 3 when she was born, and he was more mature and helpful and understood more.
Thanks for reminding me that all of this could have unfolded right there in the Little Rock Kroger! It’s good to know we’re normal.
I totally agree with Marianne. It’s the crazy change and readjusting to routine and life. Noah went crazy with our changes coming back from the Philippines and back to Kona and so on. Even now, Caden and Asia struggle with going to Denver and coming back and returning to our routine. Just keep going, you’re doing great! There have been so many times that I have had melt downs in various public places, oh the joy… I think that as we didn’t change our expectations the kids finally learned and understood more what was appropriate in stores, but we’re STILL working on it. That whole parenting training the kids thing ….is actually a training the parents thing. ha, ha!
I agree with Marianne, both Keely and Jordan have done better once we finally got in a routine and they knew what to expect. If things are going to be different I try to explain step by step what is going to happen…Keely seems to love the word after. “After night night (nap) I get snack.” But that sounds like one hard day especially in Asia! It’s hard day anyway and then everyone wants to tell you what to do. Here they don’t tell you to your face, they do behind your back. When we first got back, Keely needed to go to the restroom but when we got in the stall she said she didn’t and scream the whole time I tried to get her to try. We left the restroom with a group of ladies outside our stall giving Keely sad looks and me mean looks. I felt awful! So, I’m totally feeling for you! Hope things go better!! (When Keely first turned 2 she didn’t go to the store very much either, we were just lucky we were in the States and Jacob was home).
You are a great mom who is doing a great job of setting expectations and natural consequences for you child. Plus he is two and like the others have said…you guys have been through a lot of change. It takes g at least two days to recovery from time with grandparents. You are not alone…it has happened to me here in texas. I did go about two month when i would not take g with me to get groceries…unless is was a 2 or 3 item list. I’m happy to report it has gotten better and he is almost 3 now.
so all that is to say…two is a rollar coaster age. You never know what to expect but you have to be as prepared as possible. Stick to it…I remind myself of all the mommies who made it through this stage so I will too! big hugs!!