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Reese’s To The Rescue

On Tuesday, there was an explosion inside our home. One question set it off.

“Is everything with the job going alright?” asked innocent Shorel.

“BOOM!” replied our helper.

Oh my. As Yoda would say, “Naive am I.” Her response was totally unexpected. I thought everything was just fine.

After a very emotional 45 minute conversation which mostly came down to misunderstandings and personality differences, Shorel and I agreed to make some decisions regarding her pay and task list and we would talk about it tomorrow. I was drained. My nerves were shaking.

A couple of hours later, a friend called to see about the situation. Then, an hour or so after that phone call, another friend called to check out the situation. I feel that there is a tension between going through relationships to work out problems and gossiping. Our problem of 3 now became a problem to 5. In China, you tell someone else your problem then they go as a mediator of sorts and tell the person. In the end, everything is worked out in a circus kind of way and you are then indebted to that friend for working it out. I honestly ran out of energy being forced to talk about the problem all day.

We ultimately decided that we can’t handle so much drama so we needed to let our helper go. We’d simply have to find someone else. When we called her and told her so, she was shocked.

I actually felt better after we ended it. The final decision combined with a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup (read: imported food from America!) made all the difference.

On Wednesday morning, I got up at 4:10am to help Schäfer with his covers and I couldn’t go back to sleep. I kept wondering if we just made a decision so that we wouldn’t have to deal with what really amounts to several small problems plus a lot of culture. I discerned that if she came and asked for her job back then we should give it to her, but we needed to go over the real issues and make sure those get resolved.

The real issues included: 1.) drama queen attitude 2.) her thought that we don’t really like her when we actually really do  3.) she’s worked for us for a month and we didn’t give her a review & appropriate pay raise. (We didn’t know we were suppose to do this.)

I stayed awake until about 7am or so then I went down for a nap, but I didn’t have a chance to speak with Shorel about my new thoughts. She came while I was asleep. She did very respectfully ask for her job back. She also said she didn’t need a one month review. Shorel said he needed to first talk to me when I woke up.

When I woke up, I couldn’t believe she came so early! I told Shorel my new thoughts and he informed me of how polite and respectful she had been. I asked Shorel’s permission to call her and hire her back. When I called, I told her that we must both forget the past and begin again. If she was willing, then I am willing. She said, “I am willing and I am so very happy.” I could hear her cry.

So, this morning, Thursday, we started anew. We openly reviewed the job and the fact that this job is in our home so she needs to also like us – not just the baby!, we must all have “patience, trust, respect and happy thoughts.”

Thank goodness we had a Reese’s in the house.

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