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I really just need to stop crying.

I’ve been trying to cry privately: during nap time, after bedtime, in the office, when Hubs is asleep, etc.

Today, I just lost it in the kitchen and started crying because I truly have no clue how much longer we will have to wait for our child.

Schäfer: Why are you crying?
Me: I just need to cry a bit.
Schäfer: You need a band-aid!
Me: My owie is not on the outside. It’s on the inside.
Schäfer: You need a hug!
Me: You’re right. I need a hug.

I am tired of waiting.
I’m so wound up inside.
I’ve been spring cleaning.
I’ve been reading up on potty training.
I’ve even popped in Alias Season 1. Life just seems easier when Sydney Bristow is taking down SD-6.

I know I should be thankful.
And I know I should be patient.
And I know I should not complain.
And I know others have been waiting even longer than I have.
And I know that The Matchmaker has a child just for us.

This waiting is only getting harder.

10 comments to I really just need to stop crying.

  • Oh Sandra, My heart just breaks for you. It is fine to cry. Our Father hears every sob and He knows you by name. I will be asking Him to comfort you!

    Be Blessed!

  • Thinking of you. Waiting for something so wonderful is so hard.

  • Andrea

    I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how frustrating that is!

    For potty training we did the 3 day Potty training method ( and we thought it was really good. If you buy the e-book you also get the author to write back and forth to with your questions. We thought it was really good.

    I have a song in my head now…
    “Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match….”

  • Carrie

    I’m so sorry. I know that if I have days like this, then you for sure have these days too. You’ve been waiting longer than we have, and I feel like I’m about to jump out of my skin. With every picture, as I watch her get older, it’s a blessing and hard all at the same time. I’m praying for you, friend (and for your process). Before we decided to adopt, I had NO idea these kinds of emotions were involved, so there are only a hand full of people I know who can understand.

  • Teresa

    It will happen, Sandra. We pr.ed and waited and pr.ed and waited. I asked Father over and over to please give us Meimei in His timing. We met Jolie on Mother’s Day 2008 which also “happened” to be her first birthday. Could not have planned it better if I tried. I am pr. right now that you will have that same assurance when it happens and Father will give you hope as you are waiting. It will happen.

  • rachel W

    Oh Sandra. I am praying for you! I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in your position. I’m sure I’d be crying too! How sweet that Schafer was so sensitive to you. We’ll just keep praying!

    Love to you,

  • My thoughts are with you, friend! I know that even an almost 10-month pregnancy can drag on and on, but at least you know where your baby is. Thankfully, we know Someone knows where Mei-Mei is, and we know that he will bring her to you at just the right time. ((hugs))

  • Amy

    Hey Room dog! Girl I am SO crying with you right now. I have had these feelings and shed similar tears, so my heart breaks for you and there are words and thoughts lifted up to the Matchmaker on your behalf. Be encouraged that your friends and family are thinking of you, crying with you, cheering for you and lifting up words to the Almighty for you!! Love you!

  • I am praying for you. Please let the tears run, don’t hold your feelings in. I wish i was more like that! But yes our timing is not like His. He has a perfect plan! love you!

  • Kimberly

    I’m thinking about you, your family, and sweet little mei mei! Cry away, dear friend…

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